EIGHT THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

#6 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

#5 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

# 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America; but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of U.S. immigration.